I have a fiancee that I love and adore, he is in love…obsessed with me right? Well, he used to do harder drugs but just smokes pot now, well did and then he was quiting about a month ago with the reason " i dont need it anymore to make me happy cause I have you, you are all I need" and he isnt a person that is full of crap you know? He told this to me, to his friends (in front of me). Well I know his password on myspace cause he gave it to me, of course I was curious…well…mopre curious to see if he is doing anything behind my back cause I don’t trust anyone after my previous dissapointments, he knows this. Anyway today…first time I looked at his page, I saw a message to his friend saying to come over…they were going to do red rock (opium) … im dissapointed and more so…I feel he realized im not enough of a substitution, which ultimately makes me feel unimportant,I so want to rip on him but I would of course have to admit how I found out which would completly do a 180 to me and make it a matter of privacy….how do I bring this up? if I don’t I will just be distant..I need to tell him without it doing this 180
Its tricky but if I were you I would say that someone knows one of his friends cousins and told you about what was going on and confront him about the matter. Let him know that you are a woman of class and that you will not be with someone who does these kinds of drugs because it is very unhealthy and that you want a life with someone who is clean cut and drug free instead of high all the time and more than likely going to be doing the same thing in 5 years. It sounds mean but thats what drugs do to people on a regular basis, you have to think about yourself just like he is doing and putting your life and goals first, otherwise the drug will take hold of you too. I hope this helps somehow, good luck hun!
Posted in Benefits of quitting smoking
why would you, a young girl with a full life ahead want to spend it with a drug addict?
dont bring it up.. just move on.. or you will be in for the ride of your life. addicts are not fun people. they are liars and cheats. their first love is their drug of choice…. i could go on forever.
move ON
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When that guy comes over, why don’t you happen to be there when he and his friend are doing opium? If you know what I mean.
I’m not advocating spying or saying it’s right, but I understand you on the 180. I just feel like this is a huge issue in a relationship that HAS to be dealt with and has to be addressed directly, without making it about other things like privacy (which should also be dealt with, but at another time).
Personally, I think you can do better than a druggie. If he’s truely addicted, they will always come first. I guarantee it, because no matter how much pleasure and happiness you provide for him, the short chemical release that drugs provide will always do more.
Good luck.
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Its tricky but if I were you I would say that someone knows one of his friends cousins and told you about what was going on and confront him about the matter. Let him know that you are a woman of class and that you will not be with someone who does these kinds of drugs because it is very unhealthy and that you want a life with someone who is clean cut and drug free instead of high all the time and more than likely going to be doing the same thing in 5 years. It sounds mean but thats what drugs do to people on a regular basis, you have to think about yourself just like he is doing and putting your life and goals first, otherwise the drug will take hold of you too. I hope this helps somehow, good luck hun!
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If you want and expect him to be honest with you, you need to be honest with him too.
I understand you not wanting to have the privacy issue brought up, but you have trust issues. You can’t ever lose the trust issues if you are also doing things behind his back.
Sit him down and talk to him about it. Tell him you want to be able to trust him, and you want him to be able to trust you. Tell him you were checking out his myspace and came across it. Tell him you want him to cancel the plans, and that you hope he hasn’t been doing these types of things behind your back. Tell him you don’t want a marriage with these kinds of issues attached, and you both need to be able to get past this.
When the 180 hits you, tell him he gave you his password as a sign of trust. He was OK with you checking it out.
Ultimately though, you had a reason to check up on him. You were right. How many times have you checked up on him and been wrong? Maybe you guys need a longer engagement so you can get past the trust issues. Your relationship is going to suffer if you are not yet able to trust each other.
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Never marry someone who does drugs and lies about it! It is a very poor existence trust me! Just tell him you don’t believe he is not doing drugs plain and simple and call it ALL off! Go to walmart and buy an over the counter drug test and request he take it to ease your mind if he says he is not guilty! But make him pay for it! But trust me as soon as I started reading your question I KNEW he was a liar! Get out of that relationship and move on to something better! You deserve it!
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go sit him down, look him in the eyes and tell him: we are getting married soon, and i know we made promises to change. i know an addiction is an addiction and they dont suddenly disappear, they need work and time. i just feel that u overcame this too quick. can u look me in the eyes and tell me that ur clean?
if he says yes iam clean. pack ur things and leave. a liar is a liar.
second. if he told u infront of his friends and his doing it WITH HIS FRIENDS. then Sweety his making an as$ out of u infront of them. so dont think he went into much effort saying that all he needs is u.
now if ur really mad. GO CATCH HIM IN THE ACT. yep show up his house unexpectedly. seriously, wat is he going to say. get out of my house? his ur fiancee
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I have not seen yet an addict to return to a normal life. Exceptions may exist. Don’t ruin your life!
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You should RUN, not walk away from this guy. No drug user is trustworthy. Hopefully you don’t have any incriminating photographs because he will share them with his buddies or post them online. If you continue this relationship it will go downhill very fast, so watch out for falling rocks.
On the legal side you will go to jail if he gets busted and you are either nearby or are living with him.
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